Life in the Heart Lane ...

Holistic healer, psychotherapist and author, ROBERT KIRBY explores the benefits of living in congruence with the energy of the human heart ...

"When I stand before thee at day's end, thou shalt see my scars and know that I had my wounds and also my healing." - Rabindranath Tagore, Indian Poet.

The highest intelligence in the universe is love. It's connected to the energy of the heart, a force so profound that it's enabled humanity to survive in the face of enormous obstacles. Our ancestors were fortified with the courage to forge ahead when they had sufficient reasons to give up. In other words, they had big hearts and a huge love of life.

They kept moving on and expanding. They were close to the earth. They were grounded in their own values and they were willing to die for freedom, and their truth. Many of them wore their passions on their sleeve. You knew what they stood for. Even if you did not agree with their cause, you respected them. They could connect deeply with others because they were connected to themselves. Their voices resonated with their innermost feelings and their personalities revealed their passion for life, justice and heartfelt relationships.

Do you long for the days of centuries gone by when people, in general, tended to know themselves better than we do today? Life was simpler. People were bolder in the face of adversity. Life was tough. It was survival of the fittest. People did not live nearly as long; their hardships were disheartening. There was something audacious about their unwavering capacity to stay the course. Their personalities were focused on the basics of survival; they were integrated. They felt their pain deeply and also their joy. Simple things made them happy.

Have we lost the authenticity of generations gone by? Perhaps we do not appreciate life anymore because we have gotten soft. Technology, the industrial revolution and modern conveniences are taken for granted. Today's middle class of the western culture have a better quality life than the crowned head of Europe of just 120 years ago. Most people don't care about that because our perspective on life is distorted, perhaps twisted. We just want more a more material wealth because we believe it makes us happy or connects us to “ upper crust? people and thus we will be somebody.

It's beyond devastating that people today do not love themselves. They compare themselves to others and feel Less. They do not believe they are enough or that they will ever possess what they convinced themselves they need to be happy.

The truth is that it is very arrogant not to love yourself. If the Almighty who created you, loves you without conditions – who are you to withhold love from yourself?

It's a little game of self-pity that people play with themselves. If you can't get what you want then become collapsed and devastated or go on anti-depressant medication. This is where our culture is headed. The courage to heal, find God within and live in truth has been diluted. 20% of the western culture is now on anti-depressant medication. The World Bank's research concluded that by the year 2030, 50% (or half) of us will be on anti-depressants. Then the drug companies can come up with more drugs to treat the side effects of anti-depressants, anti-anxiety pills and sleeping tablets. It's like a runaway train that's becoming more and more difficult to stop.

The medications are sometimes needed and beneficial in severe cases. But mostly they are over prescribed. I have empathy for the doctors who don't have time to give people what they really need. In centuries gone by, they could tell their patients “Your heart is free – Have the courage to follow it”. But many people are so stressed, overwhelmed and numb today that they have little or no contact with the whispers of their heart. In other words, they don't know themselves or what their truth is. They are lost….

Coming Back to Heart

If you observe our history of where the main stream leaders want to lead their followers, you know it's usually in the wrong direction. If you find yourself in an ungrounded state of powerlessness, feeling inadequate, discouraged or depressed, then perhaps it's time to reconsider whose advice you are following.

Firstly, if you feel powerless, who have you given your power to? Take it back. Leo Durocher, a famous professional baseball player and coach once uttered these famous words “Nice Guys Finish Last”. He was the most passionate man. He meant that you have the right to stand up for yourself. To challenge the status quo. To find a new pathway, to blaze a new trail. Many successful doctors and business leaders humbly admit that they make mistakes. They are human. They do their best for their patients and employees. If you have been steered off your path – get back on it. You do not need revenge or a lawsuit. Remember the old saying “We need us a New Doctor (business coach or healer or therapist”) Take responsibility for yourself completely – let go and move on.

Surrender to God Within

Secondly, don't try to select a support system alone. This requires divine intervention. Be very discerning about who touches your soul. Your life is precious. Be true to yourself. Let go of any demand that God or someone fixes you or your business.

Susan Thesega wrote an amazing book on spiritual psychology “Surrendering to God Within”. It bypasses all fundamentalist religions or spiritual paths with dogmas requiring people to live in guilt or shame or powerlessness. She encourages people to go on an inner path of self-discovery that has no end and no beginning…their inner-connectedness to the creator, divinity, the self, humanity and the entire universe. It's a powerful and many times painful journey. It also addresses our shadow material.


What is the benefit or outcome of such a fastidious sojourn? Well, you get to live in truth and the world becomes your oyster. You know that you are living in truth when the roadblocks fall away. You feel free, passionate, excited, unburdened and unencumbered. You feel you are inside of God and God is inside of you. In this state of being the “essential goodness of your feelings” becomes the language that speaks to the divine matrix.

This is the connectedness or whole state of being that we all long for. From this place we create and accomplish our heart's desire in unison or conjunction with the will of the creator. We become inspired and inspire those around us.

This focused awareness is that act of conscious creating. It attracts the good things that life has to offer. You become the man or woman and the "power source" that God intended for you to be. These changes occur from the inside out.

The energy of an open heart is undeniable. Picture a large infinity sign that extends as wide or wider than your outstretched arms. Remember your pinky finger is the end of the heart meridian. So your arms, hands, chest and the centre of your back are all extensions of your heart. When this energy is mobilised, it creates an "attractor field" for your receptive energy. In other words, your being (or feminine) energy allows you to attract or manifest into your life whatever is in truth. This energy of life opens you to the web or matrix that connects you to the entire universe and everyone in it. With an open heart, you are able to love deeply: God, yourself and all creatures. Your intention becomes clearer and more refined. Your truth is revealed to you and everything that is not in truth begins to drop away. Working through issues becomes effortless and the freedom you feel makes your heart sing with gratitude. Your spirit of equality and generosity extends to others without expectations. At long last you accept yourself – in spite of your faults and issues, you believe that you are OK and others are OK too – exactly where they are. Welcome to your humanity. Connecting to our hearts requires grounding ourselves to the earth. It?s the prerequisite to character transformation, personality development and a fluid inner life. Of course, contact with the soul is necessary to achieve this.

Happiness and Your Soul

When we begin to live in truth, our hearts look inward to our essential knowing. Indecision drops away. Miester Eckhart, a medieval mystic said “when a person no longer centres on the outer world and turns inward to their own heart, there they become aware of a living light”. Our spirits are then no longer satisfied with this contact; it presses on even further into the vortex (whirlpool) and primary source in which the spirit has its origin.

The connection is to your eternal soul. It is a light that is always on and awaits us – even in our darkest moment. This is the beginning when the union of your inner and outer becomes solid. It?s reflected in your personality. It's the same with healing. If your process is not integrated into your personality – then the same issues will resurface under stress or crisis. Accordingly, the personality is the most accurate barometer of our evolution.

The light in your soul grows little by little in increments that you can handle. Your personality can then assimilate these increases in your capacity to love. First to love yourself with humility – not arrogance or pride. Secondly, love of all creatures and thirdly love of the creator. You cannot possess one without the other. The attainment of this progressive light within your soul is undeniable. Others cannot help but notice the transformation beaming through your personality. Your eyes become alive with presence and compassion. The soul goes on a journey into purification (return to origin) and you become fired up as the spark of your soul emerges. The human aura and chakra system also transfigures. It simply mirrors your freedom from pain, trauma and emotional and spiritual toxicity. Your aura frequently includes an etheric double, a powerful replication of precisely how your field surrounds your body. The stronger the purification (correction to the Godhead) the more visible you appear to the observer. Therefore, your personality will exude your authentic self; integrity, truth, passion for life, trust of self, respect for others and the just treatment of all creatures.

This gradual increase in the frequency of your vibration (energy system) modifies what you attract from the web of life or divine matrix. Your frequency adjusts to your higher vibration in both energy and consciousness. The quality of life changes. The law of attraction reflects this in your outer world or reality. These refined experiences and events come through you not to you.

Port of Entry

These manifestations constitute the longing of every soul. To be bathed in divine light, live in truth and know oneself deeply is achieved only by some people. Is the cost too high? Where does one begin? You don't want to be a saint do you? What about fun and exploration of the dark side? What blocks the masses from entry to the light? Of course there exist many paths to God. People have become discouraged by religion, meditation, medication and therapy.

Some of the most common roadblocks are negative beliefs; lack of faith, lack of self-trust, lack of humility, lack of energy flow and defensive behaviour (reactive personality). To deal with all of these issues simultaneously is no easy task.

One consideration is to begin or continue exploring your body. The body is the laboratory of life because it is enveloped by your eternal soul (aura). The psychospiritual and psychosomatic elements are all woven together by your energy system and can be integrated with your personality. This approach leaves nothing to chance on your journey into wholeness.

The best place to begin in to mobilise your body and energy field through exercises like yoga, pilates, martial arts, bioenergetic exercises and body-mind exercise classes. Embodiment is the immediate shift obtained from these exercise that changes your reality.

The main causes of a lack of inner life are blocks to the flow of your body to the heart. Chronic muscular contractions hold the experiences of pain caused by trauma, abuse, neglect, rejection and criticism. These unresolved experiences have tumultuous consequences. It blocks us from living in the present moment, distorts our reality (beliefs) and reactions; stimulates negative thinking and self destructive behaviour. Master healers believe these energy blocks or defences are in place to protect the heart from more pain. Although the intention is noble, the actual result is that the heart does not get to heal, transform old beliefs or inspire the courage needed to love and create from your passionate will. The holding of pain at the cellular (body) level also generates rage that emerges from the unconscious. This dynamic described by John A Sarno MD, is known as T.M.S. and generates chronic pain or physical illnesses that generally does not respond to normal medical treatment. It's your fear of the unconscious rage and its subsequent suppression that causes a withdrawal of blood from a specific area of the body.

Accordingly, in order to heal psychosomatic illness and psychological and spiritual crisis, the transformation of the character structure is a truly worthy undertaking. Old beliefs begin to drop away and your positive intention (or will) creates new beliefs and values that are congruent with the truth of your soul's journey.

What is Character Structure?

Character structure theory was developed by Wilhelm Reich, MD in response to his own clinical research and that of his teacher, Sigmund Freud, MD. Its composition was originally based on childhood mind-body dynamics needed in order to survive in the world. Later, Reich observed a bioelectric energy field that appeared to flow or stream effortlessly in healthy people. In neurotic or sick people this flow is impeded by chronic muscular tensions described earlier and sexual dysfunction.

Reich's theory has been corroborated by modern scientists, Candice Pert and Valerie Hunt. Neuropeptides communicate between the body-mind and energy system. When your body-wide psychosomatic network is out of balance, pathology is fuelled and illness prevails. The unhealthy symptoms of the character structure can be transformed into healthy ones. The character structure is therefore never eliminated but instead purified and integrated.

To view the below graph full size click here.

We have access to our beautiful and dynamic qualities at all times. When our energy is streaming our spiritual evolution accelerates. When your unhealthy structure is dominant, the energy blocks contract our capacity to love and create. Most people recognise themselves in specific unhealthy categories and also beautiful qualities category. Your character structure, according to Reich, is in place by the 4th birthday and tends to be reinforced thereafter. The good news is that they are neither permanent nor represent your heartfelt divine expression.

Reich's theories have been further developed by two psychiatrists, Alexandra Lowen, MD (Language of the Body) and John Pierrakos, MD (Core Energetics) who brought characterology into group process. Most people have at least two categories of character structure that dominate their personality. They typically feel relieved when the diagnosis of their early family life helps them to understand lifelong painful behaviour patterns. It also gives them hope that there is a way out of suffering (contraction) moving and flowing towards a passionate life (expansion).

Moving On

Many people get caught in a rut where they feel they have tried everything and still feel stuck. Life does not flow so they feel thwarted. There are very specific things that you can do for yourself to facilitate moving on:

- Set intentions in writing about what your wanting to shift. Be specific.

- Mobilise your energy to charge your system with energy (or discharge). Hiking, rock climbing, home DVDs on Yoga, pilates or Body-Mind Exercise. Stretch every day and breathe deeply to open energy and consciousness.

- Meditate/pray about letting go and letting be at least 10 minutes per day. Read 1 hour per day as many books as you can on personal development, healing, recovery and spiritual evolution.

- Eliminate smoking, drugs, coffee, alcohol and junk food until you feel much better. Do a detox (from books in the Library). A toxic liver will not release anger and resentment.

- Keep a journal. Put the cause of all your problems inside yourself. Take your power back. Observe those people whom you cannot forgive from the past or present . Those are the people you have hurt. You have projected your rage onto them. Forgive yourself for blaming that person, giving your power to that person and remaining entangled with that person. Give yourself permission to move on. Thank that person for the lessons learned and move on.

Ask your family and closest friends to support your recovery.

Individual and Group Support

If you choose to hire a highly trained healer or therapist to support you, choose wisely. More than 50% of your healing and spiritual development is based on this subjective relationship. It should be a dynamic, fluid and loving exchange. The rest is the objective skills employed by your facilitator and your own determination to become whole. This is exciting because you have lots to do with the outcome. Trust yourself, keep your intention clear and have faith in the process. The following elements could be included:

- Discuss the amount of trauma you have sustained in-utero, birth, childhood, adolescence and adulthood. What would be your healer's plan to release this material from your body-mind and energy system?

- What areas of overcharged and undercharged energy does your mind-body hold? Will you be guided through a process to release your energy bocks to facilitate the streaming of your life force?

- If you have chronic illness or exhaustion, will the psychosomatic (mind-body) component be addressed in your healing?

- If you have chronic depression or anxiety will your unresolved anger (rage) be discharged in a healthy manner?

- Will a psychodynamic assessment be employed to analyse how your childhood pain inhibits your present time fulfilment?

- Will you be given an opportunity to embrace your own darkness (shadow material) and claim your life and creativity?

Character Analysis: Will your character structure be assessed along with an energetic body reading?

Not all practitioners possess the background to address these issues. Do your own research. Be sure your core issues will be appropriately addressed in your sacred evolutionary process.

Robert Kirby is a Sydney-based author, psychotherapist and energetics therapist , for more info see www.robertkirby.com