Getting Spiritually Grounded in the Material Age ...
ROBERT KIRBY reveals ways to get into the joyous eternal present ...
“... Your authentic presence is an indication
that you are not “hung up” in the past – the distorted past which is based on half-truths and/or limited beliefs ..."
“You’re a million miles away today hun. What's
If you ever experience difficulty ‘being present’ then
this may be a recurring theme heard from those who love you ... where
are you? “What's behind that faraway look in your eyes? Why
do you so frequently split away from the present moment?”
You may respond differently to this enquiry depending on who asks. “I’m
just daydreaming” you may say, or if it is someone you really
trust you may say “I’m worried about my job” or “I’ve been distant and non communicative with my partner or kids and I do
not know why.” You may also experience actually being in conversation
with those you love without truly being present.
If this problem is happening to you or those you love, including your
children, then getting to the root cause may turn your life around.
Advantages Of Authentic Presence
Being present permits you to live life to the fullest – to enjoy
all the richness life has to offer. Only in the present moment do you
attain contact with the “inner core” or centre of your
being. This is a place deep inside you that’s connected to “oneness” and
all the manifestations of love in the universe. It also attaches your
soul to the ascending vibrations of the universe. This means you are
able to give and receive love very deeply. You are able to express
your unique creativity and deliver it to the world with shameless dignity.
This a burning desire within you that demands fulfillment.
Every thought you have and every word you speak is an intention that
creates your future. In other words your only source of positive creation
is in “now” moments in which you were consciously creating
and planting seeds for your future harvest. For example, if you are
disappointed in your present life circumstances you could choose to
take responsibility for your life instead of blaming life or others.
Why? Because you now know that you set these dynamics in motion in
the past at times when you were in a negative mood - thinking and saying
things about yourself, about your life or about others that were fearful,
doubtful, resentful, spiteful, judgmental or just plain negative. You
created your pain unconsciously by not being present – not being conscious of the power of your own tools of creation – your thoughts
and the spoken word. Being present means you are breathing deeply – inhaling
and exhaling completely each and every moment.
Simply put, you created the present life you have in the past in other “present
moments” such as this one. The seeds you planted back then -
positive or negative - have become your life today.
Understanding the potency of your own creative juice is your greatest
incentive to being present. Since your consciousness is unlimited then
you now have no excuse to not build the life of your dreams from the
sacredness of this present moment.
Your authentic presence is an indication that you are not “hung
up” in the past – the distorted past which is based on
half-truths and/or limited beliefs you learned from your parents.
Being Here Now permits each and every breath you take to be safe, vulnerable,
intimate and passionate with your loved ones. Why? Because you are
not distracted by unfinished business from the past or anxiousness
regarding what will become of you. You permit yourself to truly enjoy
the now moments while simultaneously planting seeds in each aware moment
for a happy future.
Your business associates and clients or patients will feel honoured
by your aware and loving presence. They will feel seen, heard, validated
and supported like never before. All of you will be there with them
and genuinely interested. You’ll make them feel like the most
important person in the world – while in your presence.
Being Present and Heart
To be present you must be grounded in the moment. Grounded means to
be fully embodied and connected to mother earth. The earth is the home
of your humanity.
If someone is referred to as “the salt of the earth” they’re
fondly considered to be a genuine or real person. This type of person
is usually physical or hearty and loves the outdoors. In other words,
their heart is open because they are “in touch with their inner
life” and they share it with others by being present.
When your heart is open you are happy, you love deeply and truly enjoy
your own presence.
Being Present and Spirit
Your spirit is the aspect of your soul that is consciousness. It is
connected to your most passionate expression of God, whatever or whomever God may be to you.
In grounded, expanded states of consciousness, your spirit soars to
of presence. Every fibre of your being is focussed in the now.
It is your spirit that connects your heart to your soul, mind and body.
Your authentic presence inspires others to live in truth. This journey
is related to being and not doing. This unification of consciousness is your pulsation toward wholeness. It connects all of you to everyone
else and the entire universe.
The Effects of Not Being Present
The symptoms of having your attention somewhere other than the present
moment include daydreaming, fantasizing, anxiously rehashing conflicts
or problems from your history, fearfully dreading or anticipating more
disappointment in the future or going somewhere out of present time
but not remembering where you went or why. In addition, many people
feel overwhelmed with too much on their plate and simply cannot focus
on any one task for any length of time. Symptoms also tend to include depressed or unmotivated people with low energy reserves. They frequently
do not trust themselves, have low self-esteem and lack faith that the
process of life will unfold in their favour. Finally, terrified people
who avoid conflict at all costs and feel either unwelcome or, that
they do not belong in this world.
If you are a daydreamer you go out of the present time to a place where
you feel excited and competent. You leave situations when you feel
inadequate. A good example is while reading you come across a word
you do not understand. If you choose to skip over it you feel inadequate and then lose your focus. By the time you get to the end of the page
you realise you have been daydreaming.
A survey about sexual fantasies revealed that married partners are
imagining they are having sex with someone else fifty to sixty percent
of the time while making love to their spouse. This lack of presence
may account for the feelings of separation many couples experience
When you feel anxious, fearful, depressed or compulsively relive old
painful experiences you have left the present moment in a distorted
way. The painful memory you cannot let go of represents unfinished
business from childhood. The unresolved wound or trauma serves as a
filter or reference point from which you evaluate your life. Whenever
life presents circumstances that could result in conflict, pain or
disappointment you leave the present moment and re-enact the frozen
pattern. Although this reality is common for many people it is unhealthy
and precludes the peaceful benefits of being present.
Although you may have a multitude of symptoms of not being present,
the most challenging would be the inability to focus on the task at
hand. The modern world asks us to be super human, effective, efficient
and very competent at many things. Unless you grew up in a family with
parents that were over achievers and enormously supportive and validating,
you may be lacking in self-love, self-acceptance and self-esteem. This
can manifest itself in depression, withdrawing from others or lack
Your private thoughts may contain negative “parental voices” that
are self-defeating. Thoughts of giving up, worthlessness and suicidal
feelings are on the rise. Every self-rejecting thought you have and
word you speak that undermine your magnificence is like playing with
fire. It dilutes your powers of creation and guarantees a future of
Accordingly, the symptoms of your disconnection with the precious present
are like flags or serious warnings that your life is out of balance.
Why Do You Disconnect?
The causes of your splitting away from the present moment are as complex
as the symptoms. Your body’s natural pulsation includes alternating
expansion and contraction of the heart, lungs and
nervous system. This
same pulsation effects your body energy. The bioelectric life energy
is capable of unlimited flow which streams or circulates throughout
and around your physical body. During
these moments the mental, emotional,
physical and spiritual dimensions of yourself are unified. Although
pulsating, its potential growth is exponential. These of course are moments of being present.
Think of the flow of your body energy and your entire life flowing
in harmony, being like a river that twists and turns but remains fluid,
constant and powerful. Now consider another river whose flow is impeded
by dams, rapids, white water falls and eroding banks. This chaotic
river is similar to your personality when it is in conflict. Your body
energy is divided and you are immediately pulled out of the present
moment. The two emotions that split or contract your body energy most
are resentment and guilt.
Resentment means you are continuously pulled into the past. Rehashing
how others have hurt you and being unable to forgive those people.
You see yourself as a victim of past experiences and are not free to
be present. Guilt is regret over ways you have hurt others. Things
you have done or said and things you have failed to do or say. When
you cannot make amends, forgive yourself and move on, your soul is
troubled. Your guilty conscience pulls you over and over again away
from the present time. This is commonly reflected in the physical body
as muscular blocks. The body energy, now split off from the flow is
held by the muscular block. Since your body energy contains consciousness,
the cause of the block becomes part of your denial or disconnection.
If the pain from the past is very intense the muscular block becomes
very chronic and contracted. It can recur even after deep massage treatments
with a physiotherapist or chiropractor. Some people experience leaks
in their body energy system. They occur in the areas of the wrists,ankles or throat. You would feel emotionally or physically exhausted
and find it difficult to focus. The causes of energy leaks may be from
childhood physical or sexual abuse. They may also occur from witnessing
this happen to your loved one.
An equally frustrating block to being present and the unimpeded flow
of life energy is the physical and emotional armouring of the chestplate
and between the shoulder blades. This stems from years of parental
rejection, criticism and lack of acceptance or validation.
The physical mesh armouring is unconsciously put in place to protect
your heart from more pain. It is associated with emotional numbness,
a closed or broken heart and fearfully living in your head. As you
can obviously see, there is a strong connection between the healthy
pulsation or streaming of your life energy and the ability to focus
on the present moment.
JOURNEY TO BEING PRESENT
If you desire to be completely honest with yourself, you realise by
now that every time you leave the present moment you have gone back
into your past. Projecting your history into the present and future
may have destructive consequences.
Your attachments to painful moments from your childhood distorts your
reality and causes you to react or over react in similar ways. Your
defended state is an antenna that attracts more painful experiences.
Breaking the Pattern
The first step in bringing yourself completely back to being present
is to notice the moment between your inhalation and exhalation. This observation permits you to feel that you are safe in the present and
that you are not responsible for everything. It is in God’s hands and it is okay to just be.
The second step is to get in touch with your body. Begin with stretching
exercises or yoga and breathe deeply into contracted or painful areas.
If you go to classes be sure to select a teacher who is grounded and
Next, go for bush walks or barefoot on the beach or in a park at least
three times per week. You can combine the walks with your exercise
routine. If you enjoy meditation or prayer it is better to do it everyday
for a short while than intermittently. Do your exercises first to ground
you and to move energy away from your head prior to meditation or prayer.
Another practice that creates being present is to circulate your sexual
energy throughout your body. The specific techniques are easy to learn
from an illustrated book that is well written. This also increases
sexual performance and pleasure.
If you are ready to take swift action then find yourself an experienced
bodyworker trained in deep tissue and muscular release techniques.
They can begin to gradually release your muscular blocks and chronic
armouring of your chest and midback. Cranio-sacral workersare also
effective for these conditions. Martial arts classes including Tai-Chi
are very effective in grounding, circulating the body energy and helping
you to find focus and presence. The challenge is that martial arts
takes years of disciplined training and persistence to master. If you
are so inclined you will experience enormous improvement in your ability
to focus. Acupuncture treatments on a regular basis by a skilled practitioner
will effectively circulate your body energy. They can release blocks
and build up energy in the weak areas of your system.
In dealing with issues of guilt and resentment, you could see a skilled
psychologist or psychotherapist. They will assist you in breaking the
mental and emotional patterns of neurosis that keep you stuck.
Hands on healers who truly address the grounded state of consciousness
will assist you in freeing your body energy and healing your chakras
or psychological energy centres. This brings awareness back to the
present time. This healthy state of mind can give you incites into deeper states of awareness and a real spiritual boost.
If you're open to energy medicine you may consider a comprehensive
system which includes psychodynamic assessments, character analysis,
diagnosis of energetic personality patterns, charging and discharging
the energy system of negativity through movement, breath and sound.
For this try bioenergetics or somatics therapy. Finally, to step into a process that further explores energy medicine by unifying the mental,
emotional, spiritual and physical dimensions of “energy and consciousness” you
might consider core energetics.
First begin exploring your physical body to open up the surface blocks.
This may free up the flow of energy in your legs and allow you to focus
If you believe your issues are more psychological, spiritual or energetic,
then it is best to seek professional help to guide your journey into
Robert Kirby, author and psychotherapist, lives in Sydney, Australia. For information
on his programs in Australia, America and Ireland visit www.robertkirby.com